as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize