I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
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Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
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IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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