My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
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He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
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Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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