She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
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Rumble strips road head = magical
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
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She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Pooping to opera.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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