dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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