She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize