I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
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then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
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I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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