Don't make out with my wife yet
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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