And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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