i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize