TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
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Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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