i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
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I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
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Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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