i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
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Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
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you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize