Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
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There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
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Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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