i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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