i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize