she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
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Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
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I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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