Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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