we have officially lost it.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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