oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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