i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize