Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
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Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
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he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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