so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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