come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
did i walk over a car last night?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize