I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize