I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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