I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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