I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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