My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
God, I missed his penis.
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