What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize