i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
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He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I can't turn off my feet"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
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Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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