when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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