You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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