Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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