Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize