he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize