you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
there is puke in my bra ... again
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize