I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize