i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
tell me about the fingering
Randomize