alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize