Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize