girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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