ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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