I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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