We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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