The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize