I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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