im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
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