Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
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she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
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Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
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