I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vagina is talking i cant
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize